Tuesday, May 20, 2008

How Very Amazing, How Very Undeserving

Psalm 8:4
What is man, that thou art mindful of him?

This is the most awesome song EVER! It is one of those that just reaches out and grabs your heart, leaving you forever changed.

Do you ever ask yourself that ages-old question, "Why"? I have . . . and often. It was something that really bothered me lots of times before I was saved in 1990. I was 22 years old, had been a wife for 4 years, and a mama for one year. I was a member of a Christian (denominational) church, though I was attending a Baptist church with my husband. As any 'good' Christian should be, I was very involved in the ministries of the church. On any given week, you could find me keeping the nursery, teaching VBS, or heading up the Cubbies group for Awana. I tried my best not to sin. But, as the Bible teaches, that's an impossible task! So, I would sin, though not because I wanted to, but I did. And then I would beg God's forgiveness. Though instead of peace, there was just confusion and a very real fear of dying.

Then there would be days when I would ask myself, "who am I?". I couldn't find an answer, and it was a very bothersome dilemma.

Along about the spring of 1990, in May or June, God began to deal with this sinner. Can I just tell you that it was a pretty confusing, terrifying, confusing, uncertain, confusing time for me? Did I mention that I was confused? I had been baptized at age nine, I loved God (I really, really did!), and I wanted nothing more than to please Him. But something was obviously very, very wrong. How could I not be saved if I had been baptized, worked in the church, and loved God?

I felt very, very, very alone because:
  1. My daddy was very upset I had married a Baptist
  2. My husband thought I was saved
  3. I thought I was saved
  4. I was a good girl
  5. I didn't think I could talk to anybody about this
Put confused and alone together, and what do you have? ME, a soul that God was dealing with concerning her salvation. And can I just tell you that as I look back on things, I am thankful that I didn't talk to anybody else about this? If I had, I might've been more confused. I am glad that it was God and me. Me and God.

It's hard to say what was going on in my mind during that time, aside from being alone and confused. But there came a day, a Sunday morning, when I knew I could not go on any further. I had to get this settled and put my confusion aside and called out to God! Being as honest as I knew how to be, I told Him I did not know if I was lost or saved, but I did know that I was a sinner. I confessed how I believed Christ died for my sins. And I called out to Him in faith, asking for my sins to be forgiven and for Him to save me.

And guess what? HE DID! HE DID! HE DID! Praise God He did!

People, Christ gave HIS life for me, you, and the whole, entire, stinkin', sin-filled world! Even though I knew this and believed it to the point of salvation, it wasn't until some months back that I finally realized what this means:
  • For every wicked thought
  • For every unkind word
  • For every broken commandment
  • For every rebellious act
  • For selfish action
  • For all ungodly, unholy, contrary-to-His-holiness behaviour

HE DIED FOR US! We were His enemies . . . and many of us continue to be His enemy. And yet . . . there He is, willing to take us into God's family just by the simple act of turning to Him and receiving His gift by faith.

Did you listen to the words of that song? Did you really hear them?

  • His heart was broken mine was mended - through His suffering He made us whole
  • He became sin now I am clean- by the bearing the very thing that made us dirty and stinking in His sight, He made us clean
  • The Cross He carried bore my burden - that cross represented our sin burden
  • The nails that held Him set me free - though He was held to that cross by the nails, it brough us FREEDOM!
  • His scars of suffering brought me healing - this Man's body was mangled and mutilated, and through it all we were healed
  • He spilled His blood to fill my soul - through His blood we are complete
  • His crown of thorns made me royalty - He wore a crown of mockery, only to turn around and make us royalty
  • His sorrow gave me joy untold - and through His suffering and agony, He filled us with joy unspeakable and full of glory
  • He was despised and rejected - He was, and still is, an innocent man, received then mostly for what He could do for others
  • Striped of His garment and oppressed - and they tried to stiffle His ministry and shame Him, but their actions only brought God's plan to fruition
  • I am loved and accepted - You and I didn't deserve what we have received, but have received it only by His shame and suffering
  • And I wear a robe of righteousness - and all because of Him are we considered righteousness . . . we've been given new clothing . . . Heavenly clothing
  • His Life for Mine, His Life for Mine - Oh yes! The innocent for the guilty!
  • How could it ever be? - Who but God could do such a thing?
  • That He would die, God’s Son would die - Who would YOU die for?
  • To save a wretch like me - Your enemies? drug addicts? prostitutes? pedophiles? murderers? raptists? drunkards? "good" people? liars? homosexuals? adulterers? idolaters? witches? thieves? the covetous?
  • What love divine - only by a divine love could someone die for people like that
  • He gave His life for Mine - For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son . . . not for my life only . . . nor yours only . . . for for all of mankind

If you have not thanked God lately for the place He brought you from, why not do that today? Why not do that right now? Thank Him for making bearing your shame, paying your price, making you whole, cleaning you up, making you royalty, and making you free! It should be something we do each and every day!

1 Corinthians 6:11

And such WERE some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.


Glory, hallelujah!



Coffee Bean said...


Deborah said...

WOW! I couldn't watch the movie...the Passion...this said everything,,,thanks for posting it.

Julia said...

You are very welcome! I had tried to post another video with a performance of the song by the original artist, but it didn't work out. This one is more powerful anyway, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

What a powerful testimony you have! Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing it. Your family is lovely also. Just found your blog, will be following it.

Anonymous said...

Your testimony is such a blessing and not so different from mine.Thank God for showing us "good girls " that without Him we are nothing!!! MIsty