Saturday, July 10, 2010
Do you ever just step back from your life and reflect in amazement at what God has done for you? I do . . . and I'm often overwhelmed by His blessings on our family and how He meets our needs and makes our very dreams a reality. It is true what the Bible says: He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask of Him! He doesn't just answer our prayers; He answers them far, far beyond our expectations and in ways that make us look to in in awe of His love and concern for us!
When my husband and I had been married but a year or so, my desire to start our family was overwhelming. After some begging, pleading, and sweet talking, I finally convinced him that we needed to fill our home with little people . . . a mini him and a mini me! Except, eventually that turned out to be a mini me, a mini him x2, another mini me, and then another. And they all came along rather quickly. In fact, five years, four months, and twenty-two days is all the difference there is between the birth of our oldest and youngest children . . . and the three that fall between the two. And, boy, was it an interesting journey getting to that place.
I think one reason Mister was reluctant to start a family then was the fact that I'd have to quit my job when a baby came along. He probably was weighing the financial shift this would cause and wanted to be sure that he would be able to support his growing family on an income that was a lot less than it had been. This is definitely one area that we have seen God bless us in. And I'll share more about that later.
At first, conceiving a child seemed to be beyond our reach. It was disheartening each month to realize that it wasn't happening. Long story short, I did end up at a GYN who figured that things with me were not quite in working order and had me take a fertility drug called Clomid for a about six months. Well, obviously things were so broken and I was pregnant within the first month. I was so excited! My dream of being a mother was going to come true! It was something I had dreamed of since I was a very young girl . . . getting married and having children of my own.
You should have seen my collection of dolls, doll clothes, toy dishes, and doll furniture growing up. Every year from the time I could remember, I received a doll for Christmas . . . and occasionally on my birthday. I don't remember ever losing one of those dolls either! In fact, I've still got all of them and most of the clothes and dishes . . . and a doll cradle that my grandfather picked up at a yard sale or something. My favorite thing to play growing up was house.
Once our daughter was born, everything just sort of fell into place. I was not one bit apprehensive about taking care of her. In fact, I'm ashamed to say now that I didn't even allow my mom or my mother-in-law to come over and help take care of the baby or me when we came home from the hosptial. I wasn't trying to be selfish, but I've always been fiercely independent. Not in a rebellious way . . . but just in a "I can do it my self" way. My husband took a few weeks off to help out but then I was happily on my own at home was he was back at work. Being a mother was second nature to me and I was right where I wanted to be.
I think part of it stemmed from wanting something I could call my own. My own husband . . . my own home . . . my own children. When I was growing up, finances were generally pretty tight and I didn't have as many opportunities for lessons and classes and activities that many of my peers had. I didn't really have anything I was really good at, no special talent or anything like that. I was still very young when I got married and not really ever had the opportunity to do anything that defined who I was. This was my chance and I latched on with gusto.
During this time, we weren't trying to have more children, but at the same time we didn't do anything to keep from having more children. I was just sort of under the impression that I would always have problems becoming pregnant. I mean, it wasn't easy the first time and I just thought that it would always be like that.
But what happened next in my life would forever change who I was.
To be continued . . .