Today I am writing on behalf on parents everywhere who, I believe, want young people to know a little about this process of being 'grown up' and 'on your own'. Believe it or not, your parents know that it is difficult being a teenager and a young adult. Would it surprise you to know that it is just as difficult for the parents of you young people? We have raised you for 18, 19, 20+ years . . . and suddenly, you're on your own, making your own decisions, and you don't really need us that much anymore.
It may surprise you to know that moms and dads were once in the same place that you are in now. But you should know that mom will ALWAYS be mom and, by nature, is loving and territorial when it comes to her children. Just because you don't live at home any more doesn't mean that you stop being her children . . . nor does it mean that she just let you go. . .completely. She doesn't have these stretch marks on her body and scars on her heart for nothing. She's invested too much of herself to ever stop caring. And while that doesn't give her the right to dictate your life, your mom will always be a part of your life and is, very likely, the reason that you are the wonderful person that you are today.
Your lives are changing, but so are hers. Yours because you want it to, and hers because it's just the way life is. She's never been at this point in life before, allowing each and every child go out into the world to live the life God has planned for them. Watching each of you make mistakes. Sitting back while y'all discover a whole new world. She just wants you to remember this when you get really frustrated with her and think she's butting in. For your mother, this change is like going 60 mph to 0 mph in about 2 seconds, trying avoid hitting the car in front of you. The heart pounds, the hands shake, and the mind is forever thinking "what if".
You have never truly loved a human being until you have loved your own child, whether he or she grew within your womb for nine months or if they were specially chosen by to be your very own child. So, naturally, there will be pains of separation. Just as you would cry when you were separated from mom, even for just a few hours, your mom will cry and often mourn for the days that will never be again.
Thankfully your mom has a weapon for those times when she can't be there, can't fix a situation, or doesn't really understand what's going on in your life. Or maybe mama sees you making some pretty questionnable choices. If things starting happening in your life that YOU don't understand, maybe your mama has been praying for you. Cause, you know, if mama can't be there, you can bet God will always be because of your mama.
Love,
All Moms Everywhere
2 comments:
Well said Lynne. I felt these same emotions when the three of you left the "nest". I love you.
I wish our children could be 'our'parents' for one day so they could see and feel what life is really like. Then maybe they would understand the depth of love behind our advice, warnings,and attempts to help, instead of feeling like we are 'butting' into their lives.
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